On Wednesday, Apple announced the latest “must have” gadget for its millions of brainless zombie followers to blow their cash on. The iPad, as it's called, is supposed to “transform media, business presentations” and is touted as a “magical and revolutionary device” by Apple itself but Apple's attempt to over take the Netbook market isn't winning me over.
The iPad has many design features that have me wondering who designed this freaking thing? Apparently, Apple has a low opinion of most of its users as the iPad doesn't allow more than one program to be running at a time. To put this in perspective: currently I am writing this article, searching for pictures of zombies to put in this article, editing a picture of Steve Jobs holding the iPad with a brain on it, while looking up porn starring Steve Jobs (the last one is proving the most elusive of all but I know it is out there... somewhere). All of these things could be easily accomplished on the typical Netbook. To do all of these things on the new iPad I would have to: write the article first or continually save it. Then, close the word processor to hunt down pictures of Steve Jobs and Zombies on the browser program. Next, I would have to save them. Just to have to close the browser program and open up a picture editing program so that I can create cheaply spliced together pictures of Steve Jobs and Zombies for you to enjoy. After all that, I would have to open the word processor back up to add my pictures to the articles. Whew...just thinking about that makes me want to abandon this article and devote 100% of my time to just looking for Steve Jobs porn. Here is a list of some of the other things the “magical” iPad can't do:
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Video Chat: Most Netbooks, even the cheap as crap ones, can do this.
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Run Flash: Even Blackberries are going to be capable of running flash soon... come on Apple get with the program!
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Upload Photos from a digital camera: No USB ports = No pictures
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Store more than 64GB of Data: Most Netbooks come with 160GB hard drives
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No Flash Based Browser Games: Sorry Facebook gamers... no Facebook games for you (something I actually am happy about... the less people can access those terrible games the less the developers of those terrible games can profit... win/win situation there)
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Battery life low: Compared to the Kindle (which the iPad is trying to compete with also) 10hours is low battery life. Kindle's battery lasts for 7 days! Also, when your battery dies, so does your iPad. Netbooks have swappable and upgradeable hard drives.
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Installing your favorite app: Unless it is on the Apple App Store... you are out of luck.
“Magical”? About as magical as my ass...and now, for some pictures of Zombies (Pictures of porn starring Steve Jobs to be added to the article as soon as I find some).
